Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Nikki & Jenn - A Story Collaboration...

Today while doing what I do best...absolutely nothing (lol I'm kidding) I was talking to my friend Jenn and we were both complaining about how bored we were, so she suggested we write a story together.

The way it works is: She wrote a paragraph or two or three, then I had to create the next part off of what she had written. It was loads of fun..lol...it's not finished cuz sucky old real life had to go getting in the way..but it's interesting nevertheless..

As of right now untitled Jenn & Nikki production

It'd been a bitch of a day. All I wanted was to get my things and get out. A migrane was greedily chewing on my brain and Brian in the next cube over kept giggling in his high pitched tone. I had to escape. After locking my computer I stood and made my way down the narrow row to the restroom. The silence was a blessing. I walked to the first stall and locked the door. I hadn't been in there long before I heard the door open, then the snap of the lock. Curious I gently opened the stall door to see two of my co-workers locked in an intimate embrace.
Oh shit...

It was Miriam from Accounting, and Tina from Sales, making out in the middle of the bathroom. I gasped loudly and the two jumped apart, faces turning beet red.

"Oh, um. Sorry?" I offered and rushed out of the bathroom. I had seen some wild shit in my days, but never, ever had I witnessed something like that. And at work too. I rubbed my temple and went back to my cubicle and sat down.

Closing my eyes, I practiced the breathing techniques that phony accupuncturist taught me. It didn't help; it just made me feel like I was hyperventilating. From the cubicle wall there was soft clearning of one's throat.

I opened one eye and glanced over. Tina and Miriam were both standing there. "Can we talk to you? Maybe go get a coffee or something?"

Oh great. Here it came.

"Uh...Sure." What else could I say? I shut down my computer and tried to ignore the stares of the rest of my co-workers as they watched us walk out.

What the hell was I supposed to say? I didn't know. So I didn't say anything. We walked silently through the office. The sun was begining its decent, and street lamps were winking on.
"Uh..There's a little shop down the way." I pointed dumbly down the road, tucking my hair behind my ear. This was so awkward.

Miriam's pristinely polished Prada clicked feminiely on the sidewalk as we walked toward the coffee shop down the block."Look, I don't know what I saw in the bathroom, and quite frankly I don't care," I said stopping in the middle of the sidewalk and glancing at both women.

Miriam placed a hand on my shoulder. "Relax. Its just coffee, now come on."

What the hell is going on? I wondered.

Tina smiled at me as we walked to the coffee shop. My stomach was churning so bad I wasn't sure I'd be ablle to drink anything.

I stayed in silent speculation as we entered the shop. The scents of rich cream, coffee beans and baked goods filled my nose. My mouth watered as I ordered a hazelnut caramel coffee, then followed Tina and Miriam to a table in the corner.
We sat for a moment, sipping our drinks. I didn't know what was to come. I was about to say something when Miriam cleared her throat.

"We're not lesbians," she said sassily.

My jaw dropped and I coffee dribbled out. "I- wha-I never thought you were," I sputtered.

Tina smiled knowingly. "Of course you didn't," she said sardonically.

I started to get mad. First off I was having the day from hell, and then I was privvy to an interoffice tryst that supposedly wasn't what it appeared to be.

"Look," I sneered, "I don't know, nor care, what the hell is going on, or not going on between you two. I'm going to say anything, so if you'll excuse me I'm leaving."

I grabbed my coffee and dumped it into the trash.

"Wait!" Tina called.

I stopped, wishing I hadn't tossed my coffee. My head was pounding and all i wanted was to get home and pet my cat. I turned back looking at them.

"What Miriam said was true. We're not Lesbians. But..We do like to have fun." Tina stood and walked toward me, handing me something. "Check it out." She glanced over her shoulder and nodded to Miriam. Miriam smiled at me as the two walked out. Leaving me standing there stupidly.

I looked down at the card. It had one line printed on the front: House De Trois
Interesting, I thought, tapping the card against my palm. Very interesting.

I shoved the card into my already cluttered purse and quickly left the coffee shop.

House de Trois, I turned the name over in my mind. A lot of people were mistaken when the heard the phrase "Ménage à trois." They thought it was just a random threesome between themself, and a couple of skanky hookers; or something like that. When in actuality it meant a romantic relationship between three people who lived together.

I pulled the card out again and looked at it. What did it mean? Did it mean that Miriam and Tina lived together and were looking for a third person to join them?
I got into my car and headed home. To where my freezer was full of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and my cat waited. I had to admit I was slightly curious and decided to at least Google the site. I mean come on, it's not like it would kill me, would it?

I sighed as I pulled int othe driveway and waited for the garage door to roll its way up. I was still pondering the cryptic conversation between Miriam, Tina and I. All I wanted was to eat some ice cream, curl up with my cat and veg out on tv. But the day obviously wasn't done with me yet.

I slammed the car door and I got out. My heels clicking on the cement as I walked toward the door leading into my home. I stared at the shabby form sitting on my steps, bouncing a tennis ball. Crossing my arms over my chest, I stared down at the man sitting there.
"Thomas, what the hell do you think you're doing IN my garage?" I wrinkled my nose at the stench coming off him. What the hell had happened? The suit he was wearing looked like he'd been in it for days, and was in desprate need of washing. His once lush brown hair was greasy, and his skin was sallow. The scent of liqour hit me and I took and involentary step back.

OH MY GOD! The angry voice in the back of my head shouted. Couldn't anything go right today?

I stared down at Thomas' rumpled form as he bounced that damn tennis ball. The neon green bounced off the cement floor, thock, thock, thock, it went, the sound reverberating off the garage walls, the sound ate into my already pounding head.

"Stop bouncing the damn ball, will you."

He caught the ball in his hand and looked up at me with bloodshot blue eyes.

"Thomas what are you doing here?" I asked again.

"I had to see you Janey," he slurred.

"Well not like this you don't. I'm going to call you a cab. Go home and clean yourself up. You reek."

"No!" Thomas shouted, stumbling to his feet. "Don't you get it!" He lobbed the tennis ball aside, his eyes fierce. It hit the wall with a smack and tumbled to the floor.

My breath caught and my head raged. I felt as though I had a herd of elephants running through my brain. All I wanted was asprin. Couldn't I just get inside?

"Obviously not! And I guess i missed the memo that stated this was piss on Janey day!" I narrowly curbed the urge to stomp my foot, choosing to bite my lower lip instead.

The fire left Thomas's eyes. He sank to his knees in tears, crawling toward me blubbering.

"Please, Janey. I'm nothing with out you. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't...I can't get it up."

I rolled my eyes as he wrapped his arms around my thigh.
Pressing my fingers to the bridge of my nose, I prayed to anyone who was listening to patientce.

I prayed for patience, yet none came. Thomas gripped my waist, sobbing still on his knees. I pried his grimy fingers off my waist and stepped around him.

"Look Thomas. I don't really care. You can't sleep, go see a doctor, you can't eat, but you can drink like a fish? And as far as your other little problem," I jeered motioning his croch, "Well that's not my problem anymore, now is it?"

Tears streamed down Thomas's face. "Janey please," he pleaded.

Something in me snapped. "NO!" I shouted. "No god damn it! No! I'm so sick of this. You think you can treat me like crap then break into my garage, drunk, and beg me to take you back. I don't think so. Now leave. Just get out!"
Thomas wearily climbed to his feet and shuffled out of the garage. At the door he stopped to look at me. He opened his mouth and said...

"You'll always be in my heart, Janey. I loved you the best I knew how."

My heart broke a little as I watched him walk down the drive. I stumbled inside, leaning against the door as tears slid down my cheeks. I hoped it was over. I don't think I could take anymore suprises today. Wiping the moisture from my face I walked into the kitchen and set down my bag.

The soft pad of feet and a purring meow indicated I was no longer alone. smiling I held out my hand and was rewarded with a soft head being pressed into it.

"Hello, Felix, baby. Did you miss me?" I rubbed my cheek against the soft black fur, then pressed the flashing red button on my answering machine.

"You have 3 new messages." The robotic voice informed me.

"Great." I muttered.

"First Message. Sent Today at 8:15 AM. Hey Janey! It's Kaylee, your sister. Just calling to see if we're still on for this weekend. Dinner at Freddys? You promised! I want you to meet Seth. You'll love him!"

I rolled my eyes at the excitement in her voice and snuggled some more with Felix.

"Next Message. Sent Today at 11:37 AM. Janey, it's your mother. You haven't forgotten we're coming down today, have you? I know how you forget things. You father told me not to call, but I wanted to remind you that we - Oh! *fumble....Muffled voices* Beeeeeeeeeeep"

I swore laughingly. I HAD forgotten my parents were coming in. Damnit.

"Next Message. Sent Today at 3:45 PM: Um..Hello...Uh...God I hope I have the number right. Umm..Look..Stephanie gave me your number...Told me to call you..I was wondering..Oh, I'm Kellan..and..yeah..Umm...Would you like to go out..maybe?? Uh..call me..555-5877"
I shook my head. Ah..my life.

I replayed the last message, absentmindedly copying Kellan's number down. Leave it to Stephanie, my so called b.f.f., to hook me up on yet another blind date. This would be the fourth one since I broke up with Thomas. It left me wondering what Kellan's fatal flaw was, since the previous three all seemed to have one.

Let's see there had been Greg, who chewed with his mouth open, burped and farted like no bodies business and hated anything that didn't have the word 'fuck' in every five seconds.

Then there was James who was a mama's boy through and through. He talked about his mother the entire time we were at dinner. Anytime I directed the conversation away from his mother he would find a way to steer it right back.

Last, and most recently, was Pete. Pete was an okay guy we just didn't click. Mostly because he was still hung up on his ex-girlfriend Lisa.

I glanced at the clock on the mantle. It was a little after six. I had no idea what time my parents were going to be here. Quite frankly, after the day I just had, I wanted to call them and cancel, but I couldn't; they were probably already halfway here.

I carried Felix into the kitchen, absentmindedly rubbing right behind his ears. "Are you hungry? 'Cause I am. I'm starving. How about we eat something?"

"Meow," Felix replied, he green eyes peering into mine.

I opened the fridge and searched for something quick and easy to make. There was an authorative rap at the door. I stood up and glanced at the door.

Who could that be? I wondered. My parents maybe?
I set Felix down and went to answer the door.

I pulled open the door and gasped in shock. My parents stood on my front portch, smiling at me.

"Uh, hello." I smiled at them, feeling as if my head were about to explode.

"Oh, Janey!!" Mom squeeled, dancing up to me and wrapping her slender arms around me. I hugged her back, inhaling her scent.

"Oh! You should have been with us, Janey!! You would have loved Maui!!" She laughed and danced her way into the house.

"Janey." Dad said, a tight smile on his face as he lugged in their bags.

"Dad." I stepped out of the way, knowing better than to offer help.
"Oh God, help me." I muttered as I closed the door.

To Be Continued...

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