Sunday, January 17, 2010

My Life Would Suck Without You

My Life Would Suck Without You

A short story by Nikki and a song by Kelly Clarkson (or the Glee people, whichever you prefer)

Heavy bass thumped, the fog machine spewed a thick cloud of smoke out over the dance floor. I choked and made my way toward the bar for a drink. At the opposite end Jenn, my best friend, was flipping her hair and laughing. She reached out and gently placed her hand the well defined arm of a guy who looked like he just finished Marine Corp basic training. His high top fade was recently cut, and he had an eagle, globe and anchor tattooed on his forearm. Everything about him screamed “jar head," even the way he was standing.

The bartender came and asked me what I wanted. I asked for a bottle of water and handed him a five as he handed me my much overpriced bottle of tap water.

I unscrewed the lid and made my way across the room. Jenn caught my eye and wiggled her eyebrows. She pointed to Johnny Marines ass and smiled. I rolled my eyes and kept going.

I looked around as I walked, a bunch of half naked drunk girls were shimmying and shaking to Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar on Me. I rolled my eyes and turned looking for somewhere to hide. I hated clubs; they were always full of half naked women, drunken guys and people smoking cigarettes. And the music, I hated rap or hip hop or whatever it was called. Give me some obscure Indie or British band and I’m good.

I turned around abruptly and walked in Jenn’s Johnny Marine. “Sorry,” I shouted over the music.

He flashed a grin at me and a hot blush crept across my cheeks. He was definitely attractive, like Channing Tatum in Lucky Brand Vintage Straight jeans and a black button up, sleeves rolled a quarter of the way up his arms.

I shook my head slightly and blinked. Realizing I looked like an idiot I apologized again and started to walk away when he grabbed my arm. “What’s your name?” he called over the music.

“Cat,” I called back.

Johnny Marine grinned. “I like that. I’m Justin.”

“That’s nice,” I said and pulled my arm out of his grasp. I looked around for Jenn, who was no longer by the bar.

Justin walked up beside me. “Why do you keep running away from me?” he asked looking down at me.

“Um, let’s see, because five minutes ago you were standing at the end of the bar talking to a pretty blonde who just so happens to be my best friend. So you see that sort of presents a problem now doesn’t it?”

Justin blinked at me. He looked confused. “What blonde?”

I groaned and rolled my eyes. Here we go, ever the ladies man. “Whatever, man. I’m not interested.”

I started to walk away again when he grabbed my arm and pulled me toward him. “I don’t know what blonde you’re talking about,” he repeated, his lips inches from mine.

He was like a snake, hypnotizing me with his intense hazel eyes. I nodded dumbly and felt the intensity of his gaze. “Okay,” I mumbled beguiled. “If you say so.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of blonde and the neon pink of Jenn’s shirt. “Cat?” she said looking from me to Justin, back to me. “What’s going on?”

I yanked my arm away from Justin and turned to Jenn. “It’s not what it looks like,” I said. “I swear.”

“Yeah, really? It looks like you were about to start sucking face with a jar head." Jenn stomped her foot and pouted.

“Jenn, come on, you know I would never do something like that. He kept following me and I told him I didn’t want anything to do with him.”

Jenn rolled her eyes and started for the door. “Where are you going?” I called.

“Home,” she shouted over her shoulder.

I followed her out of the bar and into the dark, cool night. “Will you wait, please?” I called over the click of our heels on the sidewalk.

“No, you’re supposed to be my friend, my best friend, and you’re being all makey outey with a guy I was trying to hook up with.”

“What! I wasn’t being all makey outey with him. He was hitting on me.  I told him to leave me alone. Why don’t you believe me?”

“Because,” she said coming to an abrupt stop and turning to face me. “Ever since Isaac broke up with you, you’ve been miserable so someone shows you the slightest bit of attention, and you’re so damn lonely that you snap it up. You don’t even care if I saw him first.”

“Oh my god,” I yelled at her. “Do you realize how ridiculous you sound? I told you I didn’t want him.”

Jenn stepped into the street. “TAXI!” she screamed. A yellow cab screeched to a halt at her feet. Jenn opened the back passenger door and got in.

“Jenn, come on, knock it off.”

She rolled down the window and flipped me off as the taxi pulled away from the curb.

“Real mature,” I yelled after her. I gazed up at the sky and screamed at the top of my lungs.

“That’s right you let it out honey,” a drag queen said as she sashayed by.

I laughed and turned heading in the opposite direction. Tomorrow, I thought, she’d be knocking at my door begging me to forgive her and damn if I wasn’t right.

The following afternoon there was a sharp knock at the door. I wrenched it open and peered at the apologetic face of my best friend.

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m such an idiot; I know that losing my best friend because of some guys, it’s just, just so stupid. Can you ever forgive me?”

I smiled at her. Of course I could forgive her. Jenn was my best friend. Hell, she was my only friend. My life would, quite literally, suck without her witty antics. So I opened my arms and my erratic, hair brained best friend rushed into my loving embrace.

“Of course I forgive,” I told her shutting the front door behind her. “We’ve been friends for how long? You really think I’d let some loser in saggy pants come between us? Ugh, never! And wait guys as in more than one?”

She laughed squeezed me tight. “What would I do without you?”

I shrugged. “Date random losers, and eat donuts alone while watching Hoarders?”

Jenn smiled and let out a mousy giggle. “Ew I hate that show. And yes guys as in more than one.

“I know you do. You love to hate it. Personally, it skeeves me the hell out, but whatev, I still love you.”

We went into the living room and sat down. “What guys are you talking about?” I asked her as she tucked her knees under her.

“Okay, so are you ready for this?”

I nodded and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “Okay, so turns out, that the guy you were all makey outey with last night wasn’t the same guy I was talking to.”

I stared at her, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“You were talking to my guys; wait for it, twin brother.”

“Shut up,” I said, stunned. “Are for real?”

Jenn nodded. “I was talking to Jeremy, and you were talking to Justin.” She grinned and I saw the wheels in her head turning.

“No,” I said shaking my head. “Whatever you’re up to the answer is no.”

“Oh come on queen of the prudish people. You can’t sit there and say he wasn’t hot.”

My face flushed. “Of course he was hot, but seriously you want me to go out with someone I met in a club? Yeah, thanks but no thanks.”

“Well you don’t have a choice.”


“We’re meeting them for drinks tonight and that’s all there is to it.”


“Because you’re my best friend, and I love you. And because your life would suck without me.”


Copyright 2010 by Nicole Jensen as Common Law Literary Property

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