Don't Read this Book

As an avid reader, I hate hearing the hype about books that are supposed to be "so good" or "#1 New York Times Best Sellers" and then they turn out to be pure garbage.

For instance, Witch & Wizard by James Patterson.

It literally pains me to use the name James Patterson and the word garbage in the same blog post. Really, it does because I quite literally worship the typewriter that man creates captivating tales on. I am a huge fan, I've read just about every book he's ever written (except the Maximum Ride books). But this book, this book is horrible.

It's a YA book, I get that, but really?

Really?!?!

It's so bad. Like, for reals. (I know, hard to take anyone seriously who uses phrases such as "like, for reals" but really).

Okay, my first issue with Witch & Wizard.

There is no character development at all. You meet these two kids, Whit & Wisty, you have no idea who they are, what their deal is, or even why the things that are happening to them are happening.

Well, supposedly, they are a witch and a wizard. You are introduced to a girlfriend, who, once met in some kind of alternative world, you never hear about her again.

Then the pace of the book is like, boom, boom, boom, it all happens so quickly without much building up or anything. It feels rushed, like it was being written in a hurry. I mean, I get it, sometimes those plot bunnies gnaw away at your brain until you absolutely have to get it written, but really?

Then there are the pop culture references that are...lame, at best. Ron Sayer (John Mayer) Lay-Z (Jay Z). The Firegirl Saga (Twilight). It's like get real, if you're going to reference pop culture at least do it with some spunk, not make up rhyming names.

I had a whole list of other reasons why this book sucked, but seeing as how the slaughter of a football game on TV is distracting me, I've completely forgotten the rest.

So anyway, my recommendation?

Don't read this book.