Don't Read this Book

As an avid reader, I hate hearing the hype about books that are supposed to be "so good" or "#1 New York Times Best Sellers" and then they turn out to be pure garbage.

For instance, Witch & Wizard by James Patterson.

It literally pains me to use the name James Patterson and the word garbage in the same blog post. Really, it does because I quite literally worship the typewriter that man creates captivating tales on. I am a huge fan, I've read just about every book he's ever written (except the Maximum Ride books). But this book, this book is horrible.

It's a YA book, I get that, but really?

Really?!?!

It's so bad. Like, for reals. (I know, hard to take anyone seriously who uses phrases such as "like, for reals" but really).

Okay, my first issue with Witch & Wizard.

There is no character development at all. You meet these two kids, Whit & Wisty, you have no idea who they are, what their deal is, or even why the things that are happening to them are happening.

Well, supposedly, they are a witch and a wizard. You are introduced to a girlfriend, who, once met in some kind of alternative world, you never hear about her again.

Then the pace of the book is like, boom, boom, boom, it all happens so quickly without much building up or anything. It feels rushed, like it was being written in a hurry. I mean, I get it, sometimes those plot bunnies gnaw away at your brain until you absolutely have to get it written, but really?

Then there are the pop culture references that are...lame, at best. Ron Sayer (John Mayer) Lay-Z (Jay Z). The Firegirl Saga (Twilight). It's like get real, if you're going to reference pop culture at least do it with some spunk, not make up rhyming names.

I had a whole list of other reasons why this book sucked, but seeing as how the slaughter of a football game on TV is distracting me, I've completely forgotten the rest.

So anyway, my recommendation?

Don't read this book.

Phase Fics review of The Ties that Bind

The Ties That Bind by twilightsgrace23

 

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Official Summary: After a bitter divorce, Bella moves back to Forks to put the pieces of her life back together, find love again and get over something that’s been haunting her for the last ten years.

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kennedymommy3′s Thoughts

Suspense + romance; know what that equals? A very anxious km3. But it’s cool, I can deal. But it also equals a totally awesome fic called The Ties That Bind, by twilightsgrace23.

Bella, as always is sorta awkward, but for good reason, I believe. Jacob, well he’s always there to take care of his damsel in distress. I know, I know, everyone’s like, ‘we need different Jake and Bella fics’, or ‘they’re always the same thing’. But before you start clicking your tongue, or scrunching your nose up, or doing the famous eye roll, give it a shot, I promise you won’t be sorry.

So, Bella moves to Forks with her daughter Callie – who at first seems like a spoiled brat, but not so much later on – after she divorces ole’ Eddie Boy, and moves into her dad’s old house. Who should be her hot next door neighbor and also Chief of Police to her little home town? None other than the beautiful and ever so tasty Jacob Black. Mmmmm, yummy.

Everything seems nice in the quiet town of Forks, but Bella has a past here. You know, one of those ‘I ran from this hole in the wall town and never planned on coming back because of the f’d up stuff that happened here’ pasts. If that isn’t bad enough, she starts getting weird phone calls from some creepy stalker dude that likes to breathe into the line like some horny teenager.

Bella confides in Jake about her past and Jake tries to help her with her problem, resulting in him becoming a target for the totally deranged weirdo after he and Bella start getting closer to each other.

Who’s the crazy psycho, you ask? Still speculating that myself. Will there be some juicy lemons on the horizon? I don’t have the answer to that, but twilightsgrace23 has never disappointed before, so I doubt she’ll start now. What’s going to happen to our favorite helpless, pale faced beauty? What’s going to happen to our favorite native hero? Well, you’d have to read to find out.

Over all, I think twilightsgrace23 has a way with words in this AH fic that will keep you coming back for more to watch how the sexy, uniform wearing Chief Black kisses and licks and sucks all of the pain out of Bella’s life in The Ties That Bind.

Check it out, if you don’t like it, then you can have my lovely ass on a platter. But that won’t be happening, so no worries. Let them know where you find it, and happy reading.

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Good Reads and See or Flee Flicks: A Book & Movie Review

Good Reads and See of Flee Flicks news....

Never got around to reading this though I really want to and have every intention of doing so...when I have time...

Now lets see Ghosts of Girlfriends Past...my husband made me watch this...yes..my hubs likes certain chick flicks...and he made me watch it in the fact that anytime it came on HBO he watched it. I went into the living room one afternoon to get something and it was on and I stopped to watch this one part, then I found myself sitting down to watch the whole movie.

It was okay in a cliched A Christmas Carol kind of way..that is the premise of the movie after all. Dirt bag dude revisits life and sees all he did wrong then wants to mend his dirty ways. All in all it was a cute movie, though sort of lacking on originality...however, it makes up for that for having Daniel Sunjata in it, who just so happens to be the hottie of the month..lol. I saw him in those Lifetime movies and now he's everywhere...

not that I'm complaining...

For realises...this man is seven kinds of pretty...lol

But, anywhoo...it's a good movie if you want to lose two hours...not a must see, but still a good time...

Good Reads and See or Flee Flicks: A Book & Movie Review

This post might contain spoilers about the novel The Last Song and the movie Duplicity. Don't say I didn't warn you :)

 So last week I brought you Dread and The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane, which I finished about three hours after the post and let me tell you...I was not disappointed with the ending.It was fabulous...

Did you see the movie or read the book?

This week I'm bringing you The Last Song by best selling author, and one of my personal favorites, Nicholas Sparks and Duplicity starring Julia Roberts and Clive Owen. (pause for squees of delight...Clive you are a cutie)

The Last Song begins with Ronnie Miller making her way to North Carolina to see her father and spend the summer with him. Well not really, it starts with Ronnie talking to her mom about something then flashes back to the trip down south. At first I HATED this book. I'd only read three chapters or so and I was not loving it, which by the third chapter of a Nicholas Sparks book I'm in serious puppy love. This one however, definitely no puppy love, heck there wasn't even lust.

It's written different than a typical Nicholas Sparks book, the beginning at least, and Ronnie is...well, if we're being frank - a bitch. Through the first half of the book I wanted to slap her because she was so insolent and rude.

Another thing was the multiple changing of point of views. All in all there were four points of view portrayed - Ronnie's, Will's - Ronnie's love interest, Marcus' - Ronnie's nemesis, and Steve's - Ronnie's father. Marcus' point of view weirded me out and I think I skimmed through his....for a Sparks book Marcus' head was too dark for me.

Then it got better towards the end. Ronnie's attitude started to go away and things were good. Then the Sparks bombshell (which if you've read enough of his books you know its going to ultimately come) which I knew was going to happen and I still cried anyway.

By this time Ronnie made a huge 360 and turned into a character I could like. The story picks back up where it left off in the very beginning and ends nicely.

All in all not my favorite Sparks book, but not totally horrid either. I'd give it a three out of five.

Duplicity came on HBO last week and I thought, "Hmm...Clive Owen (Yum!) and Julia Roberts, spy movie, sounds fun."

Boy was I wrong. This movie made no sense to me. Well that's a lie...the end made no sense and left me going, huh? I mean I got it, the movie is called Duplicity after all, but the end was just...well, it was lamespice for lack of a better term.

It goes in circles and at first your like "Oh wow, that's sheisty" but then it goes on and you're like, "Um, what the french is going on here?"

Julia and Clive are corporate spies, each one working at competing corporations and each trying to outsmart the others corporation. I can't even explain it. My recommendation? One out of five and a big fat don't waste your time...

Next week:

Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater

and

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past starring Jennifer Gardner and Matthew McConaughey

Good Reads and See or Flee Flicks: A Book & Movie Review

 This post might contain spoilers about the novel The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane and the movie Dread. Don't say I didn't warn you :)

I had an idea today as I folded laundry, The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane playing on my mp3 player. I read a lot of books and watch a lot of movie, majority of which are lamespice beyond words, that and my friend Laurie and I trade movie and books, letting each other know what was good, what was bad and what might be worth reading or watching. So for starters, we'll begin with a book I've been listening to a little each night, and a movie I watched today.

First up is Dread. I am a great lover of horror movies, that being said this movie wasn't "scary" per se. It says it was one of the "8 films to die for after dark horrofest." Horrorfest? No. Gory? You bet your ass it was - in certain parts. Nothing on the level of Saw or Hostel, but gross nonetheless. It stars Twilight hunk, Jackson Rathbone as Stephen Grace, the film's main character (well one of them). I know some might be put off because he was in Twilight, but let me tell you something - the Twilight movies do not do this kid justice. He is a better actor than the Twilight movies make him out to be. I was surprised. But moving on...

This is not a movie to watch with the kids around...it has nudity and lots of cursing. And the grody factor as well...

The whole jist of the movie is this guy wants to do a fear study, to find out what scares people...he recruits Rathbone and another girl, luring them in with the possibility of using the study for their thesis. They are film students and jump on the opportunity and the trio set out to interview people about what scares them.

Rathbone reveals what scares him, his female counterpart reveals a terrifying childhood and the guy who wanted to do the study reveals what happend to him.

At the conclusion of the study, the third guy goes a little batty, does some crazy stuff...etcetera, etcetera...don't want to give too much away.

The ending however, OMG! The ending shocked the sin out of me. I think it might have been the films one redeeming quality. It was a good concept, the movie, but somewhere something got lost in translation. The acting was good, the soundtrack was horrible and there was too much boob for me. There were also a couple of plot holes, things the crazy guy did that confused me and the only explanation I could come up with to reason why he did the things he did was because he was crazy. And that's not a good explanation.

So I give it three stars out of five. If you like sorta lamespice horror movies that aren't really scary you'll totally dig this. You'll also dig this if you think Jackson Rathbone is hot. I did not consider myself a rider of the Jackson-is-hot bandwagon, but this movie converted me.

Just saying.
lol.

Okay now onto the book part of this here post. A while back I was perusing the New York Times best-seller list, looking for an interesting book for one of my book characters to read and I happened along this book. The title grabbed my interest, so I googled and read the synopsis of the book.

Curiousity piqued!

The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane by Katherine Howe (also known as The Lost Book of Salem) is an engaging tale of a young woman, Connie Goodwin, who heads to her late grandmother's home to prepare it for sale. Once there she finds a mysterious key and an even more mysterious slip of paper bearing the name Deliverance Dane. One thing leads to another and Connie finds herself delving into centuries long gone in search of answers.

I don't want to give too much away, but when I read more reviews of the book my interest started to wane. I did not think it would interest me at all, but when I found it at the library in an audio book I thought, eh why not. I can put it on my mp3 player and listen to it while I clean and if I don't like it, no harm done.

I was intrigued from the start. The book switches points of view, going from Connie's point of view in 1991 to various points of view over various years from the late 1600's up. The novel is essentially about the Salem Witch Trials and events that spawned after that, but it's more intricate than that, a little bit of mystery, a dash of spookiness, a pinch of intrigue, and a sprinkle of romance.

I love it, and I haven't yet finished, but I'm sure the ending won't disappoint, but if it does I will be sure to pass it on. Rating it, I give it a five out of five. It's a definite must read, especially if the subject of witches and mystery intrigue you.

So have you read this book or seen this movie? Share your thoughts. Did you love it? Hate it? How come?

Next week:

The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks
and
Duplicity starring Julia Roberts and Clive Owen