When it rains it pours

Me and Murphy, Murphy's Law that is, are b.f.f.'s. I feel like this has been the worst...week or so pretty much ever recorded. There was that incident with my car and ever since that day life has been pretty...wild. I have been driving Steve, my husband's Jeep because anytime I ever think about driving mine I break out in a cold sweat, my heart starts racing, I feel sick and I want to cry. Just thinking about it now, I'm tearing up.

I'm trying to drive the Ford, going places close to home to prove to myself that there's nothing wrong, that all four tires are securely fastened and that the tire flying off last week just a freakishly odd coincidence.

My mind, however, disagrees. It is convinced that what happened will happen again, probably when I doing 55 miles an hour down Blanding Blvd (which is the main road that runs right through the heart of my county, in certain areas the speed limit is 55, mostly towards Middleburg because no one lives out there except a bunch of cows and the bank. My bank.) and my tire will catapolte off the car, kill some poor on-looker, then the car will flip, cart wheel about six or seven times tossing me and Bree around like a couple of rag dolls before coming to a firey stop in the middle of someone's grazing pasture.

I have to go to the bank, which wouldn't be a problem if Steve's car had enough gas to get there and back. I can drive his car, easy peasy no problem. But like I said, his car doesn't have enough gas, so I was forced to take my own. Bree and I get in (she has a check she has to cash, that's why she was with me) and I sit in the car, trying to take deep, calming breaths, then I go. I don't even get half a mile from the house before I'm jerking across the four lane road, crying, and heading back home, because "the car was shaking like last time."

I know it's all in my head, I know it is...but I'm so damn scared. I know it's irrational, the fear, but I can't seem to stop. I don't know what to do...I'd feel stupid going to the doctor and telling them I can't drive my car because I'm afraid the wheels are going to fall off..not only that but he'd probably look at me like I was nuts too...I know they say you're supposed to "get back on the horse" but really? Really?!?

I hate this overwhelming sense of fear and panic that washes over me whenever I have to drive my car. I hate it and I don't know what to do.

I think I'm going to find a dark corner to cry in.

Paint With Me Thursday: Umbrellas

 

I like to draw umbrellas...they're easy..lol, so when I saw the focus this week was umbrellas I did a stupid little happy dance and sharpened my favorite drawing pencil....

Then I drew a blank (lol that's been happening a lot lately i.e. chapter 38 but really that's neither here nor there).

So I did two drawings, one was inspired by my daughter who kept singing some song about April showers and May flowers...

It says april showers bring may flowers (and mental note to self: FIX SCANNER!).

The next one I did was after I had pretty much the worst day/experience ever. I don't know what the point of it is, but it it follows the focus and made me feel better...soo...to each her (or his) own interpretation.

"It's something you can't change" is a line from a song, but for the life of me I can not find it or remember who it's by...so random artist whose lyrics I liked enough to write on my drawing, if you stumble upon this, sorry...

"You can stand under my umbrella" is by Rhianna (if you're early 20-something and don't know that you've been living under a rock...EVERYBODY re-did that song..and yes, I truly mean everybody, see: Manic Street Preachers, JLS, Bare Egil, Terra Naomi, Jamie Cullum, Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park, The Mint Chicks, McFly, Lillasyster, Plain White T's, Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, OneRepublic, Sara Bareilles, Cláudia Leitte, Mandy Moore, My Chemical Romance, Tegan and Sara, Amanda Palmer, Syesha Mercado, Natalie Gauci, illScarlett, All Time Low, Taylor Swift, Bentley Jones, Boyce Avenue, and The Baseballs, Marié Digby, Biffy Clyro, Vanilla Sky, All Time Low....lol so see...everybody...)

To see more art check out Simply Feather

'Til next week blog-o-sphere!

And to answer the question about who are Sam & Dean and Stefan & Damon click here ;)

and a much later afternote...i found the song! It's called Something by Cary Brothers. Might have taken all day but I finally remembered :)

When I was a kid...

My mom had an old Ford Grenada...at least I think that's what it was called..she had a name for it, but for the life of me I can't remember that either. Regardless...she had a lot of problems with her Ford and we made up acronyms for Ford. Found On Road Dead was the most popular one (I know we didn't create it, but hey at 13 I thought I did)...and I swore I'd never own a Ford and thus far have not. I've owned a crap ton of Chevy's, a Mazda, an Isuzu (for like fifteen minutes) but my current car is a Ford. Her name is Celia...like Mike Wazowski's girlfriend in Monsters Inc.

So far my sporty little Ford has been....well..trouble...it was great at first...then two days after I bought it the check engine light came on, it was missing majority of its lugnuts, my radiator had a leak and my back windows don't roll down...but at the end of the day it runs.

Meet Celia

Today Celia tried to kill me....I took my daughter to Wal-Mart and bought her a cute little outfit (pics coming later...) and some popsicles because its so hot outside. After we left Wal-Mart I stopped at Taco Bell to pick up some taco's for dinner. Well, my daughter and I go in and get our dinner, we come out and get in the car. I pull through the parking lot and onto the boulevard, heading home. I notice that the car is shaking kind of strangely.  I can hear it, so I figure I have a flat, so I see an Ace Hardware up ahead and pull into the parking lot to call my husband to come pick me up (I don't have a spare tire). So I slow down and now I can REALLY feel that something is wrong. My car skids and there is a loud THUNK! and my car slams into the ground and pulls forward, my tire flies off the car and goes bouncing across the parking lot.

I FREAKED OUT!

This is after the car stopped and my husband came to my rescue. I stood in the parking lot freaking out. I was shaking so bad I rooted through my purse looking for my phone and I was so wigged I couldn't see it. I dumped my purse out and was standing there yelling at my purse.

Luckily, though, the damage isn't severe and no one was hurt, plus my car is still drivable. The only sucktastic thing is that my side panel is trashed which makes me sad, but, life goes on. I'm thankful no one was hurt and that my car isn't ruined.