Thursday, May 16, 2013
I see this on pinterest all the time...i know growing up, my parents would downplay any feelings (real or imagined, lol) I might have had for a boy...but looking back now 15+ years later...i tend to agree, somewhat, but on the other hand....i don't.
i was your typical teenage girl, in and out of "love" with any cute guy who crossed my path; but there were a few that really screwed with my head, even still to this day.
Yeah, eventually you pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move on....but the ones that really affect you...do you ever really leave them behind?
Yeah, you're living, but you're not really LIVING. You go through life feeling like a little piece of you is missing, but for the life of you, you can't figure out what it is, where it went or why you feel this way. then one day, you hear a song that drop kicks you back to your most poignant memory of that person and you realize that hey, this is what's been missing all along.
Again, yeah you're living...but really...it's kind of a half life.
a friend of mine is going through something like this at the moment and she asked me if i ever thought about my ex, if he ever crosses my mind or if i ever wonder what he's doing....what have you....
I answered honestly when i told her that, no, i don't think about him, i don't wonder what he's doing, nor do i care. i am over it. literally, figuratively...what ever.
then tonight, i got to thinking...do i not think of him because i avoid the things that remind me of him?
yeah, probably...but for me, avoidance is easier that reliving every little moment with him. i avoid George strait songs, and midsummer nights dream Yankee candles, godsmack and a bunch of other things because they make me think about him and i don't care to think about it.....
am i living or am i avoiding?
I'm happy with my life (as happy as a person can be...don't be fooled, there's a lot of things i would change if i could, etc.) i don't need to roll down memory lane for old times sake....
so my question is this...that person you couldn't live without...are you really living, or are you pretending?